very cute

These photos made me smile so I thought I'd share

Hungry little guy.

Do the baby's have the butt problem too?

Who would have thought a rhinceros could be so cute?

Kind of proud of myself

I was getting a little down today, because I didn't feel like I was doing quite as well I could in the bravery department.

Well, this afternoon I did a good job in facing up to something that had been bothering me for a while. There's this project I have going on at work that honestly has scared me, and I've kind of avoided it because it seemed really hard. I would write more about it, but as my company is fairly high profile that's probably all I should say.

The cool thing is, tonight, I just went for it on this project, brainstorming as best I could possible solutions to a really challenging problem. At first, it was stressful, and it was as hard as I'd imagined. But then, it got pretty exciting. Still have more work to do, but sometimes just going for it...really helps. I now have a fairly clear path forward whereas before I was feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Kind of sucks I ended up stuck at work this late, but I know this next week is going to be better, and I don't need to beat myself up for wimping out. Oh, and on the way home...I get to listen to this album:

Por dios...me encanta MUCHO este hombre...

To all those who suffer from headaches…

You would think that with all of the “opportunities” my job presents me, headaches would be a frequent occurrence for Zekers. But the truth is, for all the “headaches” I have to deal with, I very rarely suffer from actual headaches, and when I do they are usually pretty mild.

Such was not the case last night. I had the worst headache I’ve had in years. One of those headaches where you feel weak and nauseas in addition to dealing with the throbbing pain in your head. Not sure what triggered it, as I had a rather good day at work. But, around 1:00 p.m., I started feeling really tired. Driving home, my head was hurting a bit, and even though the gym wasn't sounding too appealing, I thought I felt up to at least getting the lawn mowed, but after running a couple of errands I realized that just wasn’t going to happen.

As I normally don’t go to bed at 6:00 p.m., I was lying there a long time hoping for sleep to take away the pain. It was fairly torturous, but at the same time not so bad. As I was prostrated focusing on my breathing, I couldn’t help but reflect on the fact that overall…I’m a pretty happy guy. Other than a recent experience of worrying a bit much about worrying, life has been good to Zekers. My life’s not perfect, but a lot of things I’ve wanted to change, have been changed…and it’s good. I also feel pretty good about getting to understand better about why I worry, and how to avoid it…and, I seem to be succeeding in the battle.

To anyone who suffers headaches on a regular basis, my heart goes out to you. Notwithstanding the episode of personal insight the experience provided, the truth is, the headache really did suck, and I doubt what I experienced was even a true migraine.

Fortunately, rest seems to have helped. I still had a bit of a headache when I got up at 3:00 a.m. for “dinner” but a couple hours of sleep later I was just fine, I am having a good day at work, and it looks like I will be healthy enough to go camping this weekend too:)

just a little feller

I planted a tree today in the hole from the stump. The cutest little apricot tree I've ever seen. He seemed quite large stuffed in the back of the Durango, but now he's in the ground, I've got to say he's really not that big, especially when compared to the remaining jumbo cherry tree (glad I didn't try to chop THAT one down by myself).

No apricots this year, but talking with the guy at the nursery, pretty good chance for next year. Apricots can be a little messy, but I think I found a good spot, and they taste SO good:)

Getting serious about being less serious…

I’ve posted before about some of the fear issues I’ve experienced, and the fact that they have caused me pain…and also about my dream of becoming the FEARMASTER.

Well, something happened at work yesterday that really got me frustrated with my fear issues. I found out my employee was being interviewed for a corporate promotion which I had declined (well, I was asked to apply and I said no) because I feared I wasn’t ready. It was rough.

Fortunately, today I had a good chat with my boss about the situation, and I feel quite a bit better about the decision I made a month or so ago. He was really cool about it, even said that when I did decide to go for that promotion…his strategy would be to make sure he paid me enough that I’d want to stay (I wish I could have recorded that statement). We also had a fairly frank talk about my fear issues, and about some of the things I was doing to overcome them. My eyes did water up a bit, but I wasn’t too embarrassed. We’ve known each other for 10 years now, so it was okay.

Honestly, I don’t know if I ever will be the FEARMASTER. But, I do think there is good reason to hope that things will get better. Dreaming just doesn’t make things happen. You’ve got to work for it.

I bought a couple of books last January. Read one of them cover to cover a couple of times. It was called “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway.” It had some good ideas, but wasn’t the best. Too much “whenever this…do this.” Life isn’t a cookbook and we really need to write our own recipes. The other book I’ve found, which I am sad to say I have not yet finished is called “When Panic Attacks” by Dr. David Burns. I really like this book, though I must admit, it’s kind of a pain in the ass. Lot’s of writing assignments and exercises that force you to think through things for yourself, and that’s probably why I haven’t gotten very far into it. With work, buying a home (and getting accustomed to yardwork), and trying to make time for family and friends. Well, I had a lot of good excuses for putting it off.

But, the truth is, I need to sort through my thoughts. For some reason, I have beliefs that are inhibiting me from being as happy as I could be, and I really want to be happy.

So, it’s time to get to work…